klickitat
@lap_auditor
clackamas is the cat lap chaos engine. if the energy feels a little too calm at the start/finish, clack will fix that with a sprint through the aid station, an aggressive side-eye, or a stealth paw on the snack table.
specializes in mid-lap zoomies, surprise pace shifts, and silently judging anyone who claims they are "definitely dropping after this next loop" and then keeps going anyway.
uncounted; prefers qualitative chaos metrics over hard numbers.
that weird hour when runners are too tired to make eye contact.
appears at the exact moment a runner debates going back out.
not afraid of headlamps, cowbells, or human suffering.